Antiques Roadshow to visit CH
On September 5th 1996 the BBC brings its famed insomnia cure to Christ's Hospital. We obtained this transcript of a section of the programme.
Hugh Scully: Now this is interesting. Can you tell me anything about it?
Person: Well, it was given to me about 10 years ago. I stumbled across it when I was clearing out a few things recently. I can't say that I know much about it.
Scully: I can see it was made at about the turn of the century. In order to discover more about it we'll have to look more carefully.... It's certainly got all the original trimmings but they're looking rather shabby. Tell me, have you thought about restoring it?
Person: No. I thought it was best just to leave it in its original condition.
Scully: That was probably a mistake. Also if you look carefully there is evidence that somebody's made a rather botched job of modernising parts of it. You see these newer bits that are already falling apart...?
Person: Um... Er.... Yes.....
Scully: Have you thought about how much it might be worth?
Person: No. Not really. I just thought there was no point in it sitting there and decided I might be able to sell it.
Scully: Well, let me think, if it were restored to its original condition I would certainly consider insuring it for at least £100.
Person: [looking crestfallen] Gosh. That isn't quite what I had expected.
Hugh Scully: Well, you see the thing is, Mr Poulton, there just isn't much of a market for old boarding houses.

Worried?
Dear Just Seventeen Words In Your Vocabularily,

I while ago I was at this party and I saw this lad who was really snogtastic. We got talking, one thing led to another, and I ended up thinking about having sex with him. My friend says she knew someone who got pregnant this way and I'm really worried. Is this true?

Tracey, Milton Keynes

Well I dunno really whether it's true. I mean I've never met your friend. How should I know what she said?

Take That
Dear Just Seventeen Intelligent Readers,

Ever since the break-up of top hunksome boy-band Take That, I have been feeling really down. When I saw that sexacious Howie for the last time I thought about killing myself. What should I do?

Tracey, Milton Keynes

I get asked this question a lot of the time and my answer is always the same. It's up to you. Some people feel excited at the very thought of cutting their wrists, whilst others love the taste of paracetamol. A few actually enjoy plumetting to their death. Some hormone infested melodramatic members of the teenage female populus favour an electric fire in the bath. It really is your decision. Write and tell me which one was best for you.

Am I normal?
Dear Just Seventeen Seconds Attention Span,

I've got an embarrassing personal problem. Ever since I can remember I've had a strange growth on my face. I've tried covering it up with make-up but it just never works. My parents didn't seem to understand my problem - they just said everyone had a 'nose' and it was nothing to worry about but I asked a friend about it and she said anyone with a growth like mine had cancer and would die before they were twenty. Am I normal?

Tracey, Milton Keynes

I'm afraid I'm not medically qualified (or qualified at all for that matter) so I can't answer your question for definite but I'm afraid it doesn't sound good. Your best bet is to kill yourself in a fit of hormonally induced teenage depression and blame it all on your parents.

Should we?
Dear Just Seventeen IQ Points,

My boyf keeps asking me to have sex with him but I'm not sure if I want to. Recently, though, he said that unless we did he'd spontaneously combust and it'd be all my fault. Is this true?

Tracey, Milton Keynes

You keep sending me these letters that have really stupid questions in them. How should I know? I was only employed 'cause I can use 'words' like 'sexacious' and 'hunkerama' in every sentence I write. What d'you wanna ask me for?