In order to aid the cleaners in their battle against the often fatal consequences of un-flushed toilets and unwashed hands we are happy to reproduce this notice:

After speaking to the CH campaign group about their sterling work towards human rights, Lousey! have decided to help their cause by publicising a particularly worrying case of inhumane brutality. In the past the campaign group have been singularly unsuccessful in, for instance, preventing murderers from being executed. They have written in vain to foreign leaders demanding better living conditions, and more humane treatment for rapists and drug dealers. Despite the almost total lack of success enjoyed by these missives, it is still worth trying. Worth trying particularly, in this shocking instance.

What is especially disturbing about the institution we are referring to, is the fact that it is in our very own country! You may say "What about prison reforms?" The answer to this is especially outrageous: the authorities in charge of this establishment disguise it

as a school!

At this place inmates are subjected to the worst excesses of savage cruelty. They are forced to live in cells too small for half their number. They are fed with rotten, vomit-inducing, food, called, as part of the caterers sadistic humour, such things as 'chicken à la king' and 'beef cobbler'. Ill prisoners are taken to a building sickly termed an 'infirmary', where warped, sadistic torturers await them. Fatal injuries sustained in barbaric rugby games, are treated with strepsils and tubi-grips.

You can do something about this travesty of justice by writing to the head jailer at:

Lousey: Why do we need an environmental council?
Group member: Well...um...like...man...to, like, save the environment, man.
Lousey: Does this school have an ecological problem? Apart from, of course, the millions of tons of toxic matter expelled by the catering department under the guise of waste food.
Group Member: Quantum physics has proved that, like, the world is not a machine. We must all, like, consider the holistic interconnectedness of nature.

Lousey: Are you going to answer any questions?
Group Member: It's no good doing anything. We must all, like, contemplate our inner ecology, man. Human rights abusers have unbalanced inner ecologies . . .
Lousey: Why do so many people do campaigning, bearing in mind their almost total lack of success?
Group Member: Well. Like I said. You shouldn't, like, do anything. The people who do gardening and conservation have unbalanced inner ecologies. We just, like, watch

videos and sit around. Oh yeah, we sort of write letters sometimes. But, like, that's quite, y'know, boring, man.
Lousey: Surely writing letters is doing something. Man.
Group Member: No, not really, cos they don't, like, have any effect. We just do them to practise our joined up writing.
Lousey: You're rather crap aren't you?
Group Member: You've got, like, an unbalanced inner ecology man. Just cos you don't care about our planet. I bet you don't even have long hair!